Many rightfully celebrate and applaud the awe inspiring leadership of William Wilberforce in single-handedly leading the charge for the abolition of both the slave trades and slavery itself in Great Britain. The battle would take 43 years of Wilberforce’s life before being fulfilled. But the victory would powerfully influence our own United States and a soon-to-be president Abraham Lincoln. Today we celebrated a long gauntlet of history that has stretched from slavery, through a Civil War, and now to the election and inauguration of America’s first African American as president.
But many forget that a companion passion in Wilberforce’s heart, and an additional battle which he led, was the Reformation of Manners–the return to CIVILITY. It would seem at times, that might be the harder battle. Look back at the very long presidential campaign trail, that despite all of the hugs being passed around today, was filled with rancor, character attacks…and even character assassinations. This week, I watched a short piece of Joel Osteen being interviewed on a major news show and the question I heard posed to him was “Why are we so hurtful to each other.” Rick Warren speaking at the King Center in Atlanta this week, on his way to deliver the inauguration invocation, asked, “Why can’t we all get along?” Warren speaks from experience since some members of the broad faith community of America have attacked him for choosing to pray at the inauguration.
For too long I have watched people of faith be uncivil to each other far too often. I have seen religious leaders undermine one another, church fights sabotage church leadership, leaders criticize and abuse (verbally and otherwise) followers and members, and criticism and gossip having a field day. In addition, these same leaders have too often been reluctant to sincerely get down on their knees and pray for the success of one another’s ministries. I have watched papers and news sources at times tear people apart without having facts resulting in people and their families hurt deeply. All these things have the commonality of a lack of CIVILITY. Especially civility expressed through a specific apology and a request for forgiveness.
Which is why, when civility is demonstrated and practiced, it stands in stark, but elegant contrast.
I was recently on the receiving end of such a rare event. The Chairman of he North American Mission Board was quoted in a publication as having made a disparaging comment which, if just taken at face value, could have reflected poorly on me and my tenure as President of NAMB. When the statement was reported, he did an amazing…and biblical thing. He called me personally and apologized for what had been reported. He said it had not referred to me personally but to a small handful of others, and he wanted to clear the accounts. He asked for forgiveness, talked to me from his heart for an hour, and wrote a follow up letter of apology, request for forgiveness and affirmation of me and my leadership. Retrospectively, as I write this entry, I have to say I am stunned. I readily realize he did not HAVE to call, or write, or even take me to breakfast…which he did this week. He could have done what many do…sweep it under the rug, justify it, deny it or ignore it. But he didn’t. He acted on it…biblically. May his tribe increase!
What about you? What about me? How readily are we to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness? Especially if some around us whisper “It’s no big deal. Don’t worry about it. Let it go. It’ll pass.” But it is a big deal to God when we offend others, wound others, verbally skewer others and become insensitive to others. God does want us to worry about it…and to do so until we take biblical action on it. And while we may sweep it under the rug…God won’t—whether it be in an individual’s life, a family’s life, a church’s life or an organization’s life. And God doesn’t let it go,allow us to justify or ignore it. He keeps convicting us until we do something about it….unless we become so callused we don’t feel the convictional stirring any longer.
Having been on the receiving end of civility recently I can see why Wilberforce felt it critical to not only fight for….but critical for the survival and prosperity of a people. Thank you Tim Patterson, for restoring a bit of my faith in the vital and essential gift of civility.
Now that’s what it’s all about! I am most grateful to read about people who claim to be Christians living like Christ did. Thank you, Pastor Patterson, for taking this step. I know it was hard but God was honored.
Whoever said, “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never harm me,†was never on the receiving end of words that break hearts, destroy relationships, damage careers or ministries, and hang clouds of doubt over reputations that have taken a lifetime to build.
Wilberforce was talking about mere civility when for those of us who carry the name of Christ are called to a higher standard than mere civility. We are called to be like Jesus, in the giving and receiving of those words that wound.
It is good to see brothers handle the injury in a Christ like manner. We would all do better to think long before we speak and count the cost and the worth of our words.
I am grateful to you Bob and Tim for modeling how to handle a hurtful situation. You have reminded us all to be careful what we say and what we do.
Bob,
Thanks for posting this. My hat is off to Tim Patterson for the biblical way he handled this and for your like-minded response. We all make mistakes. “If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man…” James 3:2. Who among us can claim such perfection? The real issue is what we do after mistakes are made. Seeing two brothers reconcile after an incident like this is a powerful thing.