For the turkey hunter there’s nothing like Spring! Budding trees and flowers, grass greening and weather warming is all fine and good. But, nothing takes the place of foggy dawns, the sound of an owl call, and the shrill, rattling retort of a gobbler for your alarm clock.

So, needless to say, I couldn’t wait for the season to get here this year. I prize two Rio gobblers I got a couple of years ago in Texas and now I’m on the hunt for an Eastern and an Osceola. And I just knew this Spring would be it…the next step in a turkey hunter’s hat triple play. And I was off to middle Georgia with a friend who is a great hunter and who had recently bought 200 new acres of hunting land! What more could a guy want?!

I have been pretty decent with a slate and glass turkey call, as well as the wet box call. The yelp, the cluck, the gobble…I’ve worked on them all. And I diligently work on improving it any time I can learn, because one thing I’ve seen of good hunters, they never stop learning. But the one thing that has given me fits is the reed mouth call. I marvel at the folks who can replicate the wild turkey calls just by manipulating that little reed, air flow and jaw movement in their mouth. But I had been practicing this year.

Arriving at the land late afternoon, we unloaded our gear, fired up the ATV and set out to determine roosting patterns so we would know where to be at daybreak. And…just in case, we loaded our weapons. After all, who knows!

Threading our way through the logging roads we paused on the ridge and let go with some crow calls. After a pause, came the turkey calls. And then the listening. And more listening. Hearing nothing we moved on…until we had worked our way down to the creek bottom. There we would repeat the process…and then started talking to catch up a bit on each other’s lives and families.

It was on the way back to the lodge that it happened. Making our way back up the ridge, suddenly a loud commotion-like something hurtling down through a tree—followed by a loud thump and flying leaves. I would only catch a fleeting glimpse, little more than my partner caught, and then he was gone. A TOM! And it was over before we knew it. We had gotten too lax, weren’t expectant, and had let our attention wander. It would turn out to be the only shot we would have a possibility for the entire hunt.

Looking back on it, I’ve reflected how often not being alert and losing opportunity in relationships and families reveals skills we need to further develop and hone. It’s the unexpected moments that sometimes bring the greatest opportunities. Times like…

When a teen comes home from a date and while casually drifting toward the bedroom says, “I’ve sorta been thinking about…”

When a spouse inquires, “Got a minute?”

When a child interrupts, “I’ve got a question…”

When a daughter says, “I’ve got a friend who’s having a problem with….”

In every instance, we had better be alert. An invaluable life skill is to be ready for the unexpected and don’t ever stop learning what to be listening for. And it usually won’t happen in convenient times. It is a must for good hunters…and it’s a must for good spouses, parents and friends. Maybe that’s one of the applications of what James cautions us, “be quick to listen and slow to speak…” (James 1: 19). And what we need to hear will often come in the most unexpected moments, so STAY ALERT!

We encourage you to register your church’s participation on the Amazing Grace Sunday website

William Wilberforce has two consuming passions: (1) the abolition of slavery, and (2) the restoration of manners. The first is self-explanatory… the second leaves some question when placed against the backdrop of today’s semantics. In today’s lingo we could better say a return to civility.

And I’m thinking more and more that we need a modern day Wilberforce desperately. For civility seems to be a vanishing commodity …especially when it comes to those who wield “the pen.”

For example, Chan Gailey has been the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, and assistant coach for the Denver Broncos, Pittsburg Steelers and Miami Dolphins. Presently, he serves as head coach of the Yellow Jackets of Georgia Tech. But they didn’t win a bowl game, and he didn’t meet the expectations of the Jacket’s moneyed alumni.

Thus the story by Atlanta Journal sports columnist Mark Bradley titled “Gailey haters hope NFL lures him.” The second paragraph proclaims, “A lot of Tech fans hope Chan Gailey leaves.” It later goes on to say “…he has worked here five years—never having a losing season, never failing to grace a bowl game—without having won over his constituency. And if, having just completed the best of the five seasons, he hasn’t done it by now, there’s little chance he will.”

I never gave it much thought at the time. Twenty-six years ago life was hectic and I was traveling the country heading up a national training program for an international ministry (Evangelism Explosion International). The “road” beckoned about 33 weeks a year and I was trying to balance a family with a four year old and a new born.

He was a young man who had just come to know Christ and was proving to be a voracious reader, inquisitive mind, dynamic thinker and hungry learner. His dream, he said, was to write some day, and he wondered if he could come by my office regularly and just run his thoughts and questions by me, discuss what he was learning about the Christian life, and have me give thought and perspective to some things he was trying to write.

He reminded me recently over a dinner in Orlando, that he would often come by and kneel by my desk while I worked, answered phone calls, edited material and planned for the next trip…in between meetings. With stirring sincerity he told me what it had meant to him that I had given time generously, taken him seriously, encouraged him constantly and rejoiced with him in victories regularly.

Little did I imagine that twenty-six years later he would be one of the most listened to Christian talk show hosts in America. A celebrated speaker. A scratch golfer. And, still a wonderful friend. Who? Hank Hannegraff–the Bible Answer Man. Big doors swing on small hinges… like the gift of time when we have no idea what difference it will ultimately make.

Challenges, discouragements and difficulties are equal opportunity aspects of all of our lives. They make no discrimination as to who they attack or whose life they attempt to undermine. They are something we all wish we could avoid at all costs, but which seem too often come with significant “costs” to our lives…and usually at the most inconvenient of times. And often they involve people…people with whom we live, work, are related to or with whom we share a meaningful shared experience (like church, a ministry, or a social club/organization). People can disappoint us, betray us, undermine us, or abandon us and we can’t simply take the posture of “the more I know people, the more I love my dog!”

You’ve probably been there before. I know I have…and not too long ago. And that’s when you really find out who your friends really are. As one modern leader in the midst of heart ache declared, “You don’t know who you friends are when you are on top of the world. You know who they really are when the world is on top of you.”

A while back when going through a very trying time, watching people too often distance themselves, I found myself in a particularly lonely place. It was then that a friend who I had known for years stepped to the forefront and stepped up in a huge way for me. When I asked him what motivated him to do it, I’ll never forget his answer: “Bob, a friend is someone who, when every one else is walking out, walks in…pull up a chair and says How are we going to get through this…together?”

So who is a friend like that to you? Just as importantly, are you a friend like that?

For too many years I spent way too many hours per day, week and month working and meeting goals and tasks that were often self imposed, or at worst, other-generated. There seemed to be too much job at the end of most days. Most of my married life I failed to take all of the vacation available to me in any given year…a fact I do not see as a bragging point in retrospect.

But I’m finally starting to get my act a bit better in order…better late than never, right?! I just got back from going turkey hunting with a great friend where we spent 2 days hunting together and never got a shot. But we had a great time together. We laughed…shared…prayed…enjoyed the beauty of God’s creation…felt the warmth of the sun on our face…watched nature wake up…and fell into our beds absolutely exhausted at night. It was great!!! So why have I missed it for so many years?

Because I forgot a simple truth that Jesus taught his disciples where He took them “apart” to Caesarea Philippi, ( a resort of that day) from the hectic schedule of demands of their ministry. To quote Vance Havner of years ago, “Be sure you take time to come apart, or you will come apart.”

Why do so many of us run to the edge of coming apart? Maybe because we take the job’s demands, people’s expectations, crammed schedules, and our own passion to “make a difference” too seriously…and our balance, relaxation, and pacing not near seriously enough.

So do you need to do some readjusting?

Over 35 years ago, I met Bob Reccord. I have watched him to be a leader of vision, courage, and charisma, and I have had the rare privilege of walking alongside him to watch as he has placed his relationship with the Lord above all else striving to give himself in total surrender to his Lord-while loving his family with complete abandon.

When we began our relationship at IU, one of my sorority sisters commented about Bob, “There are lots of guys you can date; but Bob is the kind you marry, because you KNOW that you can trust your life to him.”

I found her words to be true. I have watched my husband in the best of times, and in the worst of times. He has not wavered. I’ve been blessed to have a husband who always does the right thing; the unselfish thing; taking that action that benefits and lifts up those around him rather than thinking primarily of himself. He walks with the type of commitment and integrity that continue to fill me both awe and the certain knowledge that our Lord is pleased. He is my spiritual leader, my confidant, my lover, and my best friend..

 

• Am I doing enough to make you feel adequate in our relationship and assuring you that I see you that way?
• I know it’s important for you to feel honored and affirmed. Do I make you feel that way, and what can I do to improve?
• Do I express my appreciation and admiration for who you are and all that you do?
• How can I help you best succeed at your work as you provide for the needs of our family?
• Do you feel that I know and understand what your greatest dreams are for the future?
• Do I make it easy or difficult for you to be the leader of our home? What could I do better to support your leadership in our family?
• Am I doing anything that would ever lead you to be tempted to compromise in any area? If so, what could I do to change?
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• Do you know that I truly love you, and do I make it obvious? If not, what can I do to improve that?
• Do you feel that I express my love to you enough in front of the children so there’s no question in their mind of my love for you? I not, how can I improve that?
• Am I treating you as the most important person on earth to me? What could increase that feeling in you?
• I promised to cherish you. Do you feel that way and what could I do to strengthen that?
• What is your greatest concern about our family, and have you felt free to express it to me? I you’ve expressed it, have I listened?
• Do you feel that I’m helping you fulfill your God-given potential? How can I improve that?
• Am I doing anything that would ever lead you to be tempted to compromise in any area? If so, what could I do to change?
• Would you tell me your most significant dreams about the future?
]]> http://bob-reccord.com/questions-for-husbands-to-ask-their-wives-bob-reccord.html/feed 0 http://bob-reccord.com/bob-reccord-and-marriage.html http://bob-reccord.com/bob-reccord-and-marriage.html#comments Wed, 08 Nov 2006 02:56:59 +0000 admin http://bob-reccord.com/bob-reccord-and-marriage.html Bob Reccord – The Marriage Tune-Up

Most of us never question that our vehicles need regular tune-ups, and that to function well, a yearly physical will help to keep us in optimal health. Bob Reccord believes that a yearly “tune-up” for your marriage will keep your marriage fresh and new too. Bob Reccord offers these questions to take your marriage “ Beneath the Surface.”

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